But Dravid was too much of a cynic to waste time on political arguments either. As far as he was concerned, they could dispense with the briefings and motivational lectures. He didn't need the comfort of political conviction to help him do his job.Assassination was murder no matter what the justification. The only motivation he needed was the paycheck. As if sensing this from his lack of risibility, Shalinitai had paused in her briefing. Deviating unexpectedly from her subject, she had poured herself a glass of plain water and said."You will find no resistance when you go to assassinate Durga Maa. It will be the easiest assassination you have ever committed."Dravid had waited for the punch line he knew was coming. Moral lectures always had a punch line."It's living with the knowledge of your act that will make the rest of your life unbearable," she said.He hadn't smiled. He hadn't needed to. She knew the smile was there, behind his inscrutable face. He read the awareness in her eyes. I snatched them up and stuffed them in my pocket and made my wayup the stairs. I could tell that Mrs Cashmore was impatient for me to begone.When I left she went over to the video camera, removed the cassette tapeand wrote the particulars on the label. I had no idea that she wasrecording our every meeting... but I would find out eventually.*****My fascination and compulsion with Mrs Cashmore consumed me. I becamedistracted both at work and at home; all I could think about was when Iwould get to see her again and what we do when we met. I was in analmost constant state of sexual arousal and found myself regularlyrelieving my frustrations, usually into one of Mrs Cashmore's stockings.My mother became exasperated with me. When I was home I spent most of mytime in my bedroom watching Mrs Cashmore's house, hoping to catch aglimpse of her. Mrs Cashmore teased me. Whenever she was outside shewould show off her breasts, legs and bottom, never looking up at me butknowing I was there.
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